From: “Squirmtrap” Squirmtrap@wormneverdies.org
To: “Bitternell” Bitternell@wormneverdies.org
Subject: Re: Philosophical Discussion

My Dear Bitternell,

Your last correspondence was gratifying. I am delighted to learn that not only does your patient now have a job as Dr. Snyder’s assistant that will keep him quite busy, but that the professor has shown an interest in un-indoctrinating his young helper.

It is fortunate that one of the young zealots stopped by the office for a brief chat with your patient—and that their visit was overheard by Dr. Snyder. Their exchange was long enough to alert the professor that his new employee has been fraternizing with Christians, but not long enough to do any real harm (i.e. the zealot making inquiries as to whether your patient has been attending church, etc.).

You mentioned with some alarm that Dr. Snyder has been encouraging your patient to discuss philosophy and theology. Not to worry, my dear nephew. The sincere pursuit of knowledge will, of course, eventually lead the searcher to the Truth, as the Enemy is wont to call Himself. (It is truly repulsive, the way in which the Enemy so freely offers wisdom to any who seeks it. How can that but cheapen its value?)

And yet a merely academic, impersonal interest in theology or philosophy may be no more troublesome to our efforts than an interest in stamp-collecting or photography. Less troublesome, in fact, since those sorts of pursuits tend to take the patient outside himself. The Enemy, in his vanity, has imprinted Himself upon all His wretched creation. More than one human has unintentionally stumbled into the Enemy’s camp after marveling at the intricate structure of a crystal or observing the thunderous force of a mountain waterfall.

No, we have much less to fear from the disinterested dabbler in theology (such as Dr. Snyder) who would just as soon his philosophical wanderings not lead him to any particular destination. A fine influence for your patient, indeed.

Try, if you can, to give your patient a fondness for discussions that start out with such phrases as “I like to think of God as…” Quite creative and amusing, some of the gods those foolish humans invent. At those times, your best course of action is simply to sit back and enjoy.

Your affectionate uncle,
Squirmtrap